One bad apple spoils the bunch, and in the same way, a lazy, no-good, do-nothing weakling can disrupt the normal flow of business. Just like an overachiever can motivate the average Joes to work harder, a lazy bag of bones is contagious. Guys see one babbo slacking off and they say, "If he can sit on his ass, why can’t I?"

That's why a good organization needs an integrated cycle of what I call "waste management." These deadbeats must be culled. Producers need encouragement, while feeders need ejection. Of course, like so many other issues involving people, this waste disposal requires a bit of strategy, mostly to keep yourself from looking like the villain. Since the whiners of the world will never be as motivated as you are, this is an easy win. You want the slob to fall on his own sword, not yours, and take himself out of the game. Anything can be justified if you are always on the offensive, and the wastrel won’t be able to keep up.

This can get cruel quickly, but that’s life. These tactics might even have happened to you in the past, but you just didn't know it at the time.

I should also mention that some wastrels are great guys, real fun to be around for a smoke and a joke -- and that's fine. Who doesn't like a joker? But the guy who always laughs is only good for leisure time. Some can’t act serious when the situation requires it. Disposing of an endearing funnyman is difficult, but ultimately the question is: Am I in business to laugh or to retire when I'm 55? Here are a few ways to deal with slackers.

This can be tricky, like when Mussolini tried to put the screws to the Italian mob starting in 1922. That didn't work out too well in the end for old Benito -- he ended up shot and hanging upside down by his feet. Ruthlessness can result in backlash, so rather than take on all of the babbo deadbeats at once, find the least-liked dolt and make a production of his disposal. Call attention to his faults and make it clear that what he's been doing (or not doing) will no longer be tolerated. This is the equivalent of setting fire to the building; the slackers will start moving as if their lives depended on it.

The bad news is that true slackers will only remain motivated temporarily before their wicks burn down again. Even so, it's best not to "motivate by example" too frequently or people will just become fearful and bitter. Thus, when the example babbo walks the plank, make sure that the message is explicit and unwavering.

When you meet face to face with a do-nothing, act like everything is great. Ask how his route or daily collections are going, smile a lot, nod, and say, "That's great to hear -- keep up the good work." As he leaves with a warm, fuzzy feeling, retrace his steps and find out exactly what he did that day. If he's doing his work or more than you expected, then kudos to the worker. But if you learn that he told you a bunch of garbage, help him find the way to a dumpster or at least put the fear of God into him.

This works great on a poor listener. Even if you haven't warned the deadbeat in the past about improving his performance, if you've reached the final straw, you can cite past warnings -- real or fictitious. He will rebut with an "I don't remember any warnings," which is perfect because you can rave about his poor listening skills as you throw him a cardboard box so that he can start packing.

If you operate in groups, take the weakest manager and give him the weakest fools. As a useless group, they will self- destruct. Some of the whiners will quit when they see they are on a sinking ship. As the manager goes down with the boat, put your foot on his head to drown him. Once the team of weaklings proves worthless, disband it to jettison the rest.

Bums will always piss and moan off the record, but they don't air their grievances in a constructive way. You can hear them in the bar, talking tough over their drinks, but under neon lights, tall talkers are usually cowards. Guys who work in the spotlight are the real players. Leverage the good workers to ferret out the slowpokes by making the lowest performer the barometer for the team. Set the Christmas bonus by the gauge of the worst employee, and then watch your boys become drill sergeants and rip the deadbeat a new one.

Some guys might not be lazy or weak, but just not quite suited to their role. A guy may be willing to work his tail off, but unable to figure out what the heck he's doing. A bean counter can't be a bouncer and a street guy can't be in the office. Before you cut the strings on an employee, make sure his problem is weakness and not misplacement. When you do cut the strings, however, make it swift and leave no threads hanging. Make the decision, don't waffle and clean house like a man.

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